domingo, novembro 20, 2005

Já faz tempo que aqui não escrevo...

Pois é já há alguns dias...mais propriamente semanas que não escrevo um post no meu blogzito de estimação :)

É quase irónico, lembrei-me de aqui vir quando me senti realmente só...É como se isto exorcizasse a minha solidão ou a minha tristeza, bem sei que não o faz, mas às vezes acredito como se isto fosse realmente a cura da minha "doença"...

Para não variar vou deixar mais um poemazito...

Vieste num dia em que não te esperava
E contudo partiste, quando a desilusão do sentimento me aguardava
algures na minha solidão, algures na minha tristeza
Eu sei que talvez tu nunca me tivesses desejado,
mas a verdade... A minha verdade é tão diferente,
tão tristemente irreverente...
Que às vezes esqueço a dor que sinto,
esqueço, sabendo que apenas que a mim minto,
e espero por uma morte há muito aguardada sem dor ou sofrimento,
apenas aguardo que ela chegue num possivelmente solene momento...

....Nada mais há a dizer destes tempos em que te adoro em segredo, com medo, do que tu possas não sentir...É covardia! Eu sei...Mas tenho medo, medo de mim...

Afinal ainda vou deixar outro, este já tem uns aninhos, mas eu sempre gostei dele, sempre me identifiquei muito com ele, e agora sinceramente o que mais me apetecia fazer, tem muito a ver com este poema....

Lágrimas

Escorrem dos olhos sem que as possa interpelar
São ainda de um amor
Que não consigo evitar
por mais que queira, o pensamento
acaba sempre por lá chegar
A esse já triste e pobre sentimento
São as lágrimas que restam da dor,
Dessa tão estranha forma de amar
E que agora tanto lamento.
Fluem humedecendo o rosto deserto
Rolam com um ritmo incerto
Com o seu triste aspecto vão aparecento
E como aranhas a sua teia vao tecendo
Que desce dos olhos, abatendo-se por toda a face
Caindo por fim num mar, onde talvez cada uma se afundasse
E me deixasse então assim esquecer,
Esse amor que agora, que dessa forma me faz sofrer,
Seria então assim a chorar
Que dessa forte agonia me iria desamarrar.

Até a um próximo post

8 comentários:

Milocas disse...

deixo-te um sorriso ternurento... :)

ruben disse...

mais uma vez muito obrigado Milocas :)

Idi disse...

Never mind that you did not write. Me neither

Nice, that you want to cure yourself

That is good!

When I am sad, I pray and kneel

Yes, writing poems a good cure

came in one day ...
GOD came in one day!

where I did not wait ...
where I did not wait for HIM!

and however you broke, when the disillusion of the feeling

He broke my selfish feelings so that I might see

waited my algures in my solitude:

He, God, waited for you

I know that perhaps never had desired, but the truth...

I often think that God never desired me,

but the truth is
that He says in His Holy Word:

I am the Lord, Your God,
I have loved you before you were born

my truth is so different, so sadly irreverent...

BUT he says in HIS Word:

"Renew yourself every day by
renewing your spirit

and again I say to you
be joyful!

That to the times I forget pain that I feel, I forget, knowing that only that me I lie,
and I wait for

"death" of our selfish "egoism"

HIS Word says: Look every day at yourself as having died to your sins=egoism=selfpity

without pain or suffering...?

No, it often costs pain and suffering

but the reward is great

we shall be with Him in Heaven

On the Cross
he said

I am with you - every day!!!

... that it arrives at a solemn moment...

No, that SELFPITY doesn't die
at a solemn moment...

it dies more and more
when WE TRUST IN GOD

....Nada more it has to say of these times where adore in secret,

The Bible says:

open (positive) criticizm is better than hidden love

with fear, of that you can not feel...
of God...?
When we LOVE HIM
we have no fear

I am cowardice! NO!!!

YOU ARE A HERO
IN GOD's EYES

when you don't flirt

But I have fear, fear of me... After all still I go to leave another one, this already has aninhos, but I always liked it, I always identified myself very with it, and now sincerely what more apetecia to make me, he has much to see with this poem....

I just want to tell you a TRUE little story which happened to one of the friends of my family:

There was a shy young man

SO HE PRAYED:
Oh God, if YOU HAVE the right wife for me,

and HELP that I don't NEED to ask

So it happened that one day he was together with some of his friends and there was a girl whom he had observed long time

Then one day (it was perhaps his birthday) all his friends were invited by his parents.

By accident he was just talking to that girl
he arrived at the open door
his father standing in the door
greeting everyone.

When he saw him and the girl
he said:
Oh, my son, is this your girl-friend?

The boy and the girl
looked
and said: yes

and they married afterwards

That was his prayer!!!

God-first!

Seek ye first the kingdom of God
and all the other things
will be given unto you
in addition

Mathew 5 or 6

irina disse...

Oi, Ruben, que bom se ver por aqui! Então você tambem curu eh? :)

Idi disse...

Lágrimas
Tears

Are you sad?
Well, life is not so easy.
There are so much problems
I understand
Never give up
God is with you

The distance between you and him
is only one prayer

Idi disse...

Tears

Many tears
we all have in different years

Tears of losing, tears of heartbreak
yes, that really is an ache.

That ache goes deep down
even if we are in a town
in the crowd of a city
for us - no one has any pity

What shall I feel?
Is this a great deal?

I have no words
I direct myself towards...
towards what?

Towards the solution...
where there is no solution?
Is there any contribution?

Please feel with me
please cry with me
don't be shy
just cry

cry with everything your heart can give
cry until at least you may really live

God hears your sigh
he will not lie
nor will he die

He is alive
within your life

even if you don't see
in his presence you want to be.

He that is love
love like a dove
above

which flies in your life
there's much for you to strive

Strive for healing
strive for wisdom

he will give you much
he will change you by his touch

the touch of his hand
like a long walk in the sea-sand

He wants to heal you
he wants to reveal you

all He has for you
believe it,
for you, too!

ruben disse...

Idi
...Are you sad? ...
Sometimes I am, and when I am sad, I am sad for long periods of time...My sad is not about life, or love, or other "normal" problems, I am sad because of me and nothing else, I am sad because sometimes I really hate myself and at that time I get blinded by my anger and I can't see sometimes how beautiful and amazing life can be, and then I really get sad because of that.


But now I am ok again :) And by the way thanks for the e-mail :)

Idi disse...

No, Ruben if you want to see how I am feeling at the moment please read my last posts or translate my posts from Nov. 24 and before by Babelfish if you want to.
Yes, I am sad and sometimes I am feeling like you. But I am not blind of anger but then I am sad of trying desperately to find the right way... so sad that I seek and seek and seek to find the right way... I seek throughout half the night in the Bible and in the Internet and after having found something I awake in the late morning and I see: my problems are still the same.
Then I try to practise what I have found the night before but when evening comes again I feel as if the solution from yesterday is not yet the right solution and... on I go!
My last solution, a week ago, was: writing prayers in my blog.
When Charles wrote: I hope that this is not a fad... I was shocked because I saw that nearly every solution I find is a fad.
Now you can have a look and follow my evolution like I am following yours.
Just a hint:
I often miss the positive aspect in your poems
When you read on my page, I nearly everytime find something positive in the biggest problem because I have given my life to Jesus and I said: Be my Lord and help me out of my problems.
So I believe that he loves me, that he shows my sins to confess them and to change and to be freed more and more from my problems...because one day he wants to take me in heaven because I trust him that he will help me. This is my hope. What is yours?
Heidi